Love and Counselling

You never think about writing about love or at least I don’t and yet most of my posts are about it in one way or another. I am a massive believer in the power of people to change the world in which we live for the better. We do this because it shows we care and in turn love. I am by no means a good Quaker, and yet I call myself one, I have been somewhat disillusioned by my faith at times and yet I still identify as a Quaker.

I do believe in god, and I am aware it is not an easy path, when I was made redundant from a Quaker role a little over two years ago I thought it would be the end for me of my faith in people, god and myself, I lost a lot of faith in most things. I know I still had family and friends, but it is hard when some of those friends belong to the organisation that is making you redundant plus it really hurt me mentally. I was lucky to find the help I needed both from those around me and also from a career counselling service based in London.

It is unpleasant loosing faith in yourself and I think basic life becomes a struggle when you find yourself in this position, I am fairly aware that mentally I was unemployable for at least 3 months after after the redundancy just because I lost the ability to believe in myself and have the confidence to see what skills I already had. It reminds me of becoming blind to your own work while working on a dissertation or something similar. You loose the ability to be objective too, instead only focusing on the hurt and mental anguish that is so easy to see.

In many ways I was lucky that it was only 3 months for me, I can see how this could become a downward spiral that you find it hard to ever leave. The careers counselling is something that I would recommend to anyone, I believe without it I would of taken much longer to find my feet again. I often find it hard to ask for help, and in fact the counselling was a suggestion my mum made to me, which I was fairly apprehensive about at first. I am am aware they have helped me identify job roles I should apply for too, mostly because I was undervaluing the skills I had, and also my own capabilities.

Love comes into this because I suspect like most things you have to find some love for yourself in order to build the confidence you need to carry on. This was my second positive experience of counselling the first being while I was at university doing my masters (my father died), and I went to see the counselling service provided by the university, which really helped. I have had some horrific experiences in counselling services, but I am glad I have not given up on this type of help, as it has also helped me build confidence and deal with grief in a very helpful way.

‘I suspect loving what you do, is really what life is about in the long run.’

I do think you have to love counselling to do it well, and I have been very lucky with the two counsellors and had positive experiences with, I suspect that my negative experiences with counselling have come from not reaching and understanding with the counsellor and also just mismanagement by the counselling service (I had a rubbish experience using Coventry University’s service). I suspect loving what you do, is really what life is about in the long run.

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