I rarely talk about being gender fluid, I often describe myself as moving through a spectrum of possibilities, not tied to a single definition of “who I am” at any given moment. For me, gender isn’t a static label; it’s an evolving expression that responds to my feelings, surroundings, and interactions with the world.
In a society built on rigid gender norms, being gender fluid can feel like you’re constantly nudging against barriers that weren’t designed to include you. These norms often assume a binary view of gender, and anything outside of that can feel invisible or even invalid. I struggle with answering the questions on gender in application forms, as the option of ‘other’ does not really answer my needs. But here’s the thing: the issue isn’t me or how I experience my gender. The problem lies in how society constructs and enforces its ideas of gender.
For example, people like me who have intersex traits, in my case, Klinefelter syndrome, shows that the diversity of human bodies is as natural as the diversity of human experiences. Society often places expectations on us based on outdated, binary views of biology. While my experience of gender fluidity is influenced by biology in some ways and not in others, I relate deeply to the feeling of being pushed to conform to a box, sometimes quite literally, that doesn’t fit.
Using a social model of identity, I see the barriers I face as being created by a world that favours conformity over authenticity. Gendered spaces, rigid pronoun assumptions, and societal discomfort with “in-between” identities aren’t problems with me, they’re structural challenges. What would it look like to design a world where everyone could express their gender without fear or compromise?
For me, part of that world involves visibility and self-expression. Whether I’m choosing what feels more ‘masculine,’ ‘feminine,’ or something else entirely, it’s like drafting a story with an open-ended narrative rather than a fixed conclusion. I’m not just writing for myself; I’m revising the script of gender, challenging the systems that insist the plot must follow a rigid, unchanging outline.
When I am writing policy I often struggle with how society still regularly uses ‘he/she’ rather than changing the pronouns to they or them. I suspect this is because all policy is structured around legacy documentation provided by lawyers which tend to use society’s rigid gender norms and not consider the ‘social model’ of anything. I also faced this same problem when HR companies would recommend text around disability as they mostly focused on the medical model rather than the social model of disability.
Being gender fluid isn’t about rejecting society, it’s about showing society that it can expand its understanding of what it means to be human. It’s about making room for all of us, in all our diversity, to belong just as we are.